Paella for Cheapasses

Paella, a Spanish dish, = rice + stuff.

Usually you see it with mixed seafood and vegetables, although I am sure that if you were in Valencia you would find all sorts of varieties.

I was trying to figure out something to do with all this leftover fish. The day before yesterday we had grilled up a gigantic Steelhead trout, which tasted good but was too unremarkable to blog about--

(save for a momentary crisis when Teflon started flaking off our nonstick grill pan and we were for sure going to die of polytetrafluoroethylene...

...until this Go Ask Alice! article quelled our fears. Good to know, but maybe it is time to get a new grill pan.)

Anyway, there was a ton of leftover fish, but since it wasn't fresh off the grill anymore I didn't want to eat it just by itself.

Hence, paella.

Cheap Ass Paella
1/2 lb. wild caught shrimp, $2.99
1 bag live mussels, $3.99
leftover fish fillet, free
1 pack Mahatma Saffron Yellow Rice, $1.29
Then, there are a some things that I just keep on hand. Garlic, shallots, cooking wine, tomatoes, carrots, and frozen peas.

By the way, I highly recommend this brand of rice. Spanish cooking requires a lot of saffron, which is one of the spendiest herbs if you live in the U.S.
This rice is cheap, pre-saffron'd, and delicious.
Next time I want to toast the rice in a pan to get a nice nutty texture on it before it simmers. [That's a trick I learned from Bobby Flay but have not yet tried.]

First I rinsed the mussels and threw away all the open ones, because that means they're dead.
I thawed the shrimp in ice water, and then shelled n' de-veined them. That was a lot of fun and not at all disgusting.

Steamed the mussels in olive oil, then removed them to a bowl. Steamed the shrimp and did the same. Then I used the same pot of oil to brown some garlic and sliced shallots, and then made a broth out of white wine and chicken stock. Added diced tomatoes and carrots, then rice. Simmered for about 15 minutes, and then finally finished with the peas, diced fish fillet, shrimp, and mussels.

I would like to add that this is my first time cooking, or even eating, mussels.
I'm a fan.
They also come in gigantic 2 lb. bags, so I know what I'm having for dinner tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Easy Peasy

Sometimes leftovers can be icky until you drastically change their texture.

Here is Tuesday night's dinner, only soupified!

When I made the chicken drumsticks, I had de-glazed the pan with some chicken stock, reduced and strained it, and saved the resulting sauce to make soup later.
There was 1 drumstick leftover, along with a bunch of veggies.
Pureed the veggies with 1 cup water and added more salt and pepper. Minced 2 scallions and 2 cloves of garlic, then browned them in the deglazing liquid.
Stirred in the veggie puree. Finished by dicing the meat on the leftover drumstick and adding it with some frozen peas.















Oh yeah, and more garlic.












As it simmered I topped it off with another splash of milk and a few good shreds of sharp white cheddar.
Result = soup.

It may not be the prettiest color, but it tastes like chicken pot pie without the crust. Soup day.

some beef 'n stuff

So, I got a little constructive CRITICISM on my last food photo shoot for making food that looked [was] too greasy. You know what guys, oils and fats taste good.
Okay, I promise that I will make up for it really soon with a light, crisp 10-calorie meal of air-puffed celery. But not right now.
I was trying to decide what to do with all those leftover parsnips, so my line of attack was basically to make a new main course that would complement them, something that I would come up with in a rather stream-of-consciousness process of ingredient accumulation.
It went like this:

okay, brown and rich with a warm flavor... give me... mushrooms, cremini, something meaty that will steam and liquify into a yummy brown sauce... ooh! we have cashews! ummm, and i can throw in all those old onions, and i need to add a little something with color. like red. a red bell pepper. Okay, what kind of protien? Tofu? DAMN, this yuppie grocery store does not carry tofu. Chicken? Chicken is not compatible with my VISION. Beef? Beef. Like beef tips with mashed potatoes, only the potatoes are parsnips, remember? Okay. Carbohydrate, protein, vegetable... aw, MAN, i will feel guilty if i make another meal without a green component, how about... kale greens. healthy, vitamin-rich kale greens that i will ruin with bacon fat.

See how it goes?
Here's what I came up with:


...And you don't get a picture of the kale greens because they don't exist anymore, I ate them.

Here's how I did it:

Prep Time: 30 minutes
Cook time: 1 hour

Ingredients:
1 lb. package beef tips
1 red bell pepper
4 cremini mushrooms
cashews
pine nuts
kale greens
bacon
cheap booze, like sherry or cooking wine -(I went ahead & used both because I am an uncivilized savage)
1 large white onion
about 6 small white pearl onions
1 red chili pepper, dried
ALL OF THE GARLIC

Pan fry 4 slices of bacon, in a big-ass pan that has a lid, on low. It should take a long time, because the heat is on low. You want most of the fat to render.
In a separate pan on high heat, quickly toast a handful each of of cashews and pine nuts, and also 4 whole cloves of garlic, smashed with a knife and peeled. Remove from heat and save.
Wash all the non-edible organic matter [shit] off the cremini mushrooms and thinly slice. Dice the bell pepper. Peel the pearl onions.
In another pan heat some good-quality olive oil. [Note: sesame oil would have been good too.]
Brown the beef tips for 2 minutes, just until the sides are no longer red. Remove from pan and place in a separate dish so they don't cook to death.
In the same pan, sauté the mushrooms and red pepper for a minute. Add the cashews, pine nuts, and garlic cloves. Then, pour in mass amounts of the wine. At least half the bottle. Throw in some balsamic vinegar or a touch of brown sugar for a little sweet element.
Flavor madly with dried sage and rosemary, things that don't necessarily belong but are fun to pretend to know what to do with.
Grind the dried red pepper with a mortar and pestle, or just dust it with pepper flakes. Also, 2 tsp. of smoked paprika.
Oh, yeah. Salt and pepper.
Throw in the beautiful baby pearl onions whole, aren't they so cute?!
Stir around, taste, feverishly check the consistency of the sauce for about 15 minutes.
Then throw in the meat (hope you didn't forget about it and let it collect maggots or something).
Continue to simmer down until the rest of dinner is ready.

OKAY, with the bacon, remove it from its pan, pat dry with a paper towel, and save for sandwiches this week.
Dice 1 large white onion and add to the fat.
Mince 2 cloves of garlic and add.
Turn up the heat to medium and stir around for 3 minutes.
Add 4 handfuls of fresh kale leaves (I bought them pre-washed and cut, ha-haaaa, suckas, I don't need no fancy salad spinner! just kidding, I need one.)
Stir around with onions, pour in about 1/2" chicken broth, sprinkle with salt and half-cover with lid.
When most of the chicken broth evaporates, they will be pretty good-tasting.

Done boring you. Goin' to eat leftovers.